Beginning from an End
by someoneiusedtobe
Summary: What starts from a scene in 'Lost Son' between H and Calleigh. chapter SEVENTEEN: now up! Note: Chapters 3&4 contain spoilers for the episode 'Pro Per'.
1. Chapter 1

The darkness of the hallway loomed around him. Blue shadows cast cold blankets about the rows of lockers that stood uniform in front of Caine, resembling the rows of headstones, that lined the plots in the cemetery where Tim Speedle now lay. Was that all this place was; the foreshadow of an early grave? Horatio had waited until now, after office hours, to undergo his task of cleaning out Speedle's locker, arguably the most difficult part of his job. Here he stood now, just procrastinating, when the glass door opened tentatively behind him. H didn't turn. Instead he breathed deep and swiftly composed himself. It wasn't so much that he didn't want others to see him falling apart for his sake, but he was their L.T. A leader. It was his job to hold things together for everyone else.

"You saved me." He muttered mostly to himself.

Calleigh too, took a moment to compose herself, before she looked Horatio in the eye. She knew what he was here, so late, to do, and her heart broke for him. No one wanted such a job. In fact, her heart had been breaking for him since mid afternoon, when she arrived on the scene, to find him still crouched next to Tim, unable to let go. It both amazed, and worried her, to find he had something in him strong enough, to keep from crying right then and there. To lose a colleague and dear friend was hard on all of them, but she had trouble imagining the weight of Horatio's pain, to have been the one looking into his eyes, reassuring him, as he slipped away. Calleigh had admitted, only to herself, her constant desires to stand by Horatio Caine's side, but the two of them had never crossed that line. As she was choked by the emptiness of the expression on his face, now more then ever she desperately wanted to hold him.

"I wanted you to see this before I gave it to Stetler." She spoke calmly trying to devoid her voice of all emotion, the same way she had since this afternoon. "He definitely had to look at his gun."

Horatio glanced over Calleigh's report as they spoke about the incident and her findings. Their conversation was so formal, so professional, as neither seemed to know what else to stay. That is, if there was anything worth saying.

"Do you want me to help you with... Tim's things." The pitch of Calleigh's voice unintentionally cracked when she mentioned his name and she swallowed. He'd heard her voice break and knew she really didn't want to go through Tim's locker any more than he, but a helping hand was all she had to offer, and she was ready, to try to give that. Her strength was one of her best attributes, but in them all grew a sorrow to large for even her heart to hide. Warm yellow light from the hall made her skin glow in his eyes, and as much as he didn't want to empty out Speedle's locker all alone, those usually shining eyes of hers, he so loved to see, looked so exhausted in the low light, that he hadn't the heart to burden her along with him.

"No...thank you." His voice descended to an honest whisper. With a nod she turned to leave when his easeful voice stopped her. It wasn't often she heard him speak so delicately, but it always melted her heart. "Hey..." He cooed, "Come here." She sighed as he wrapped her snuggly in his arms, and his eyes shut. "You hang in there." He whispered beside her ear, and she stifled a sob at the feel of his words and warm breath. She squeezed him back tightly when she saw his face behind closed eyes. He needed this, she could feel it radiating from him. He'd needed someone to hold all day.


	2. Chapter 2

They stood quietly together, confined by each others arms for what felt like forever, and yet still wasn't long enough. Slowly their grasp of one another relaxed and the fading warmth of Calleigh's body felt lonesome to Horatio. He didn't look up as they separated from one another. She looked expecting to meet his eyes, but instead his face remained downcast, focusing on his own feet, and his hands slipped into his pockets. The demeanor in which he stood was not one that personified him, Calleigh thought. This was so frail, so self depreciating, this was not Lieutenant Caine.

"Horatio?", she spoke softly, "are you.." She didn't know how to finish her question when she realized she could see the answer all over him. His hand idly straightened the front of his shirt when he noticed the blood that still remained there. Three random spots stained a blackened red, in contrast to the pale blue fabric. Tim's blood. For reasons unbeknownst to him the sight made him feel guilty, as though he'd stolen some piece of Tim that belonged somewhere else now. He clenched his jaw, biting back something inside.

"What have I done, Calleigh?" The words were just audible.

"What have you done?" She questioned gently, "Horatio, you haven't done anything." Her voice was always so reassuring but, in his mind she was more right than she knew.

"Your right. I didn't do anything." He paused a moment and his sight cast down the locker row, "I didn't react fast enough. Tim saw it before me and I should have reacted faster when I saw him. I don't know why I didn't. He'd still be here if I had." His voice was so matter of fact, that as much as Calleigh wanted too, she wasn't sure she could convince him otherwise. She opened her mouth to speak, but he looked back into her eyes and spoke first, as his hand brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry, Calleigh...I'm sorry, I lost something so valuable to us all... I don't expect to be easily forgiven." At a loss for words Calleigh didn't speak, and Horatio nodded to her lightly before he walked away down the corridor.

Hours later and the building was even darker now. Only various security lights were on in the halls, and the locker room was shrouded in rich shadows of midnight blue. Everyone had gone now; Caine had made sure of that. The whole building was lonesome and empty, save himself and the security guards. He had a small box with him and in it he delicately placed the contents of his fallen comrade's locker. Removing various objects from Tim's work and home life, some of which brought Horatio a memory of the young man, soon made the locker, desolately empty, until there was only one final container resting inside. Horatio examined it in the low light but didn't figured out what it was until he opened the small plastic case. A gun cleaning kit. A particular gun cleaning kit. One Horatio had given Tim months ago, after a particularly trying Dispo-day. A day H had considered the closest call with the life of a colleague and friend he'd had in ages. Horatio's lips parted as he struggled to hold still his breath, to keep from gasping out a sob. He drew his fingers over the name scratched into the top of the kit by Tim himself. Before long his hand fell over his eyes and his breath became uneven as tears slid down his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Calleigh cleaned her work station and organized her papers neatly into folders. She'd been pouring hours into this case since the incident in the lobby with one Byron Middlebrook. She remembered Middlebrook looming over her, and as much as she wanted to let go on the bastard herself, she wished Horatio had been around. She knew he would have done just what Eric did, but it always made her smile to see Horatio being so protective. She regretted having snapped at Eric for coming to her defense. However, it had only been about a week since Tim left them, so suddenly, and no one had yet gotten over it. Most of them were still very much on edge. Some more than others. Those who hadn't known him as well did their best to keep quiet on the subject.

She locked the door to the lab and returned the key to her pocket, as the distinct sound of distant, repeated gun fire caught her ear. She knew _where_ it was coming from, she just didn't know _who. _

Down the far end of the firing range, Horatio's bullets were perforating the targets of a paper man. When the magazine was empty, he retrieved the target from its hanger and shook his head while examining the holes. Quickly he reloaded and replaced the target, only to begin firing again, this time with a ferocious anger, more than any concentration. Soon, two empty clicks from the gun forced him to relinquish. Placing the smoldering weapon down, he exhaled deeply still looking at the brutalized target.

"Strange time to be brushing up on your aim isn't it?" Calleigh spoke louder than usual, for him to hear her through the ear protection he wore, which he politely removed.

"I need the practice." Calleigh almost laughed at his statement.

"Ya, right," she teased, "If anyone knows how good you're aim is Horatio, I do."

"Good isn't cutting it." He said, loading a new magazine.

"Horatio," she gently reached out to his arm, guiding his hand to put the gun down again, "Tell me that's not why you're down here." She waited a moment, but when he didn't answer she looked him in the eye. "Wasting rounds on paper targets won't bring him back."

"I know." His eyes returned to his weapon. "I know. It's just...I'm slipping, Calleigh."

"What are you talking about?"

"First...Tim." The words were forced out, "and then what happened today. Ray Jr., Stevie, Yelina..._Stetler, _I could have gotten them killed." Calleigh had nearly forgotten the drive by. One of Middlebrook's lackeys, looking to get rid of all the witnesses opened fire on Yelina's home, where the young boy, and last witness, Stevie, was staying. Not to mention the last of Horatio's family.

"You can't be blamed for that, Horatio. Neither of those things! None of us knew there was an information leak to Middlebrook, but if you're that adamant about blaming your self for this, blame the fact that you haven't slept since... since Tim..." She couldn't bring herself to finish the statement, but he knew what she was saying.

"I've slept." He lied.

"I don't mean closing you're eyes in the break room. I can tell you haven't. Not well, at least" He examined her for a second, trying to decide if she was bluffing. "Your--" suddenly she became slightly embarrassed, and feared her face had turned pink, "You look like you forgot to shave. You only ever forget when you're not sleeping." Brushing his fingers over his chin he felt the scuff of short facial hair from having missed a shave or two. It was strange how just a little stubble could so alter his appearance, making him look much more rough and haggard. Not that it didn't look good, Calleigh thought. "You're eyes too..." she continued, "the blue seems to...fade." He suddenly felt foolish, hearing her talk about him like this. It was true, he often thought of the little things about Calleigh, but hearing aloud similar descriptions about himself, was almost embarrassing. He began to speak before she interrupted. "Don't argue this with me. I won't let you win." She teased; unfortunately she was unable to elicit a smile from him. He crossed his arms, as though he was holding himself together, and leaned against the wall.

"Tim—", he cleared his throat, "Tim is gone. And all I can do is say I'm sorry." His sight remained fixed on the floor as he spoke, and his vivid hair fell, out of place, over his forehead.

"You shouldn't be sorry. You don't owe anyone that. You're not to blame for what happened." He looked at her blankly a moment, as though this argument had become worn.

"He was _with_ me, Calleigh. I -- I'm your L.T. I'm supposed to—I'm supposed to look out for you guys. I'm supposed to be there for you... for Tim."

"Horatio..."

"I lied to him, you know?" He looked away, and spoke as though he was confessing sin, "He was laying there, and I lied to him."

"What?" Tilting her head she tried to make him look at her again. Instead, his eyes slipped shut as he fought the burning of tears.

"I told him he'd be ok." His appearance was more than depressing. His head hung, as did his arms now, with his hand's loosely in his pockets. With out another thought Calleigh stepped towards him, and wrapped her arms around his slouching frame. He was stooped over to rest his head on her shoulder, when he felt her soft, merciful hand come to rest on the back of his neck. He felt childish being held like this, but he didn't mind about it, as he was just happier this way. With Calleigh. He didn't know how she could be so forgiving of him, but he treasured it.


	4. Chapter 4

Standing amidst the cold walls of glass and concrete, she wished they were some place more peaceful, in her living room perhaps. Where she could recline on a yielding sofa, lay his head in her lap, and run her hands through that deliciously orange hair until he fell asleep. Her attempts, to refuse herself the luxury of getting her hopes up for him, were falling to the charm he didn't know he had. Despite their hug, Horatio remained guarded. His head beside hers, their shoulders together, but from the chest down, they hadn't touched. An invisible wedge, he was always careful to put between them, marked a professional distance that kept him closed off.

"Thank you, Calleigh." He whispered to her ear.

"You're always welcome, handsome." He relished her words with a little smile. Could she really have meant that, he thought, he was _always _welcome? Surely, she was just being polite; after all, there was Hagen. Gently he withdrew from her arms, and they stood closely. Looking up at him, she drew her hand through his hair, moving it back from his face. She was melting in those eyes, and that puppy dog expression he got when something concerned him.

"Horatio," she cooed, "I really--"

"Knock, knock." The smooth voice wrought with exotic accent cut Calleigh's words. At the presence of this unexpected third party, the co-workers shifted nervously away from one another. "Hope I'm not interrupting." The statement sounded very much as though the speaker knew the answer, and it crawled beneath Calleigh's skin. _Yes! _She wanted to snap, _you ARE!_ Instead she kept a polite, but uneasy silence and Horatio spoke.

"Um, no. What can I do for you, Yelina?" He changed the subject and gave her a smile. Calleigh's teeth clenched, she loved that smile. How was it she was only privy to it every now and then, yet Yelina was awarded with it whenever she batted her eyes? Watching the two speak she drifted further into her own thoughts. Why did he often stand like that when she spoke to him, keeping his head down, his eyes hidden, like an abused animal? What power did she hold over him? It was then Calleigh thought for the first time that perhaps his distance to her wasn't only professional. Perhaps it came from knowing his heart wasn't his to give.

"Ok. I'll be right behind you." Horatio's words, and Yelina's exit, brought Calleigh back from her thoughts. "I've got to go." He met her eyes, hoping she'd take this as a chance to finish what she had almost said.

"Oh, ok. That's ok." She did her best to hide her disappointment, but to H it was still visible.

"I'm sorry...Yelina wants me too--"

"No, it's ok. Really. I understand." She gave him the best smile she had; he nodded and returned his gun, from the table, to its holster.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yah, tomorrow." She agreed as he reached the door. Stopping a moment he turned back to her.

"Good night, Calleigh." The sincerity of his words, which shone in his blue eyes, compelled her to give him the same.

"Good night, Horatio."

At home, H hung up his suit coat and sat on the edge of his bed. People always told him how much they liked his apartment. They complimented the furniture, the spotlessness, and that cool, modern look about the place. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that the décor was very _him_, but to Caine, it suited him only as far as looks went. The cleanliness and the crisp shapes and colors of the place made it seem more like some kind of an art gallery or museum, so untouched, so cold, even in Miami weather. When he was alone here, which these days was more than not, there was a barren unfriendliness about these rooms that made him feel foreign in his own home.

Yelina had come to the office in search of him, desperate to talk about earlier events of the evening. Primarily, her relationship with Stetler. When he showed up, and Stetler was there, it hurt that she hadn't told him. It hurt to see Stetler with his nephew. It hurt that after all he gave, she didn't choose him. These past years he tried to provide for her even more than what she'd lost. When Raymond left their lives, he felt obligated to her, as she and Ray Jr. were the last people he had to call family. He loved them both like family, and gave everything in him, just to be loved the same. Horatio had refused to accept that she'd never love him like that; instead he only kept trying, blindly giving. Now he didn't have anything left to give.

He laid back, without the energy to bother with the rest of his clothes, and lazily pushed his shoes off with his feet. Breathing deep he hesitated when a familiar, soft, almost sweet, scent changed the air. Grabbing his shirt collar, he pulled it to his face. That was definitely the source of this smell. It wasn't a perfume, or anything cosmetic, it just smelled distinctly of Calleigh. God, it was comforting. If more of this place smelled that way, he thought, he'd never feel alone here.


	5. Chapter 5

Calleigh tossed her keys on her kitchen counter in a pout. The best thing she'd felt in ages and Yelina Salas had to interrupt. No, interrupt was too nice a word. She _tore_ him away from her. She always did. She had that effect on him, and it didn't seem right. It didn't seem fair. He was bar none the most resilient and strong minded man she'd ever met, but he didn't have a defense in the world that could save him from Yelina. All she had to do was look at him with those dark, exotic eyes and he'd be right there to follow around after her.

Passing into her bedroom, she caught her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes weren't dark like Yelina's. She picked up a stick of eyeliner and examined it. Who was she kidding, she thought, tossing it back on the table in disgust. All the make up in the world wouldn't make her eyes that dark, or her eyelashes that long, or her skin that tan. If that's what he wanted, he'd never find it in his bullet girl.

She cast the soft fabric of her bath robe around her and loosely knotted the ties at her waist. She shouldn't think such things, she knew Horatio wasn't shallow. He was better than that, and far experienced enough to know to look beyond appearances. It was obvious what Horatio sought from Yelina. He did so much for her love, but it was rare he ever received it. Calleigh groaned with frustration. How could he be so blind to her neglect? Did he honestly believe someday day Yelina would return what he gave? Did Yelina even realize what a gift she had, to hold his heart in her hands? Sitting up in bed, idly flipping though channel after, worthless channel she wondered what it might be like, being able to claim possession of his heart, and just what their moments together, as brief as they were, had meant to him.

As she flicked out the light, a blinking red glow caught her eye from the hall. The answering machine flashed in warning of the unheard message it held. Calleigh rolled her eyes and turned her back to the machine. She could predict who the message was from; John Hagen. Sighing, in the realization that Horatio wasn't the only one with ties to other people, she had to sleep and put an end to this day.


	6. Chapter 6

Horatio's unusual morning was forecasting a similar kind of day. Stopping at a red light on his way to work it struck him that for the first time in, he couldn't remember how long, he woke up and did not think of Yelina Salas, or mourn for his late brother. The red light flicked to green, but his contemplation trapped him, still, inside his own body. This morning he thought of Calleigh. She was dominating his thoughts these days, just the way Yelina used too. He recalled how Yelina used to make him feel, in fact, how she still could make him feel. She had the power to make him feel weak with just one look, or word, or seemingly innocent touch. Calleigh, he found, now had this gift too. Every time they'd spoke alone recently he had felt weak, as though he might have crumbled in her arms. The sudden burst of a car horn, from the driver after him, broke him from his mental connections. With a shake he gathered himself to focus on the driving again.

He saw her early that morning, in the break room before the others had arrived. She looked more worn-out than usual, but she still smiled for him, for everyone, that's just who she was.

"Mornin'." She chimed, her accent shining through.

"Good morning. Coffee?"

"Mmm, I'd love some. Thank you." She sipped it cautiously and closed her eyes. Horatio watched her carefully. There was something different about her today. The make-up around her eyes looked unusually heavy. Thick dark lines drew away from the shimmer of blue-green, they usually bestowed, bright against her complexion like the color of shallow ocean water on a white sand beach. He looked away, into his own cup, when her eyes opened again. Stepping slightly sideways she stood closer, and he felt his nerves build when he assumed his starring had been evident. "How could you have remembered I take cream, and pinch of sugar?"

"Lucky guess." He said, making sure not to flush when she laughed for him.

"So..." She went on, "How're you today?" She didn't want to pry, or open a wound that had only recently started healing, but she wouldn't let go of what they'd done last night. Though whatever that had been she could not define, aside from knowing how sweet it was, how soulfully satisfying.

"Better. Thank you." His modestly positive words brought on her smile and she relished in the idea that he thanked _her_ for this.

"I'm glad to hear that." She sipped her coffee again and leaned, softly against him, shoulder to shoulder, "If you need hug, you know where to find me, handsome." She had, all morning, tried to psyche herself up for that moment. Their first moment together of the day, when she could tell him everything. Her intent was to tell him how she felt about their time together after hours. How she had begun to look forward to it, to having him all to herself for a few spare minutes of their time. And now that chance was over.

By late afternoon the day felt agonizingly long. Particularly, after a visit from Yelina and Stetler had been a perfect reminder, to Horatio, of just how obsolete he had become. He was ready to give and in go home. After one stop he had to make. There was still someone in the office that he needed to see.

Stepping quietly into the shooting range he looked up to see a couple in mid dispute. Calleigh looked livid, arms tightly crossed about her and Hagen stood, his back to the door and Horatio, arguing his point.

"John," she demanded, "Don't start with this again. I refuse to argue about this with you stop bringing it up! Why do you think I've been avoiding you, I _knew _you'd do this to me."

"I'm not just ignoring it anymore, I'm sick of it Calleigh! You run off to him every time he gets plastered. He's a grown man. It's not your job to baby sit him!"

"What am I supposed to do John just let him drive himself home?! Leave him there all night?! He's my father!"

"He's still a drunk, Cal!"

"Shut up John! Don't you dare judge him!" After struggling through the whole conversation to maintain the level of her voice, it exploded.

H had not intend to stand there for so long, but the surprise of seeing Calleigh go off, stopped him dead in his tracks. He was fixed on her as she stood there, not 10 feet away and crying now. Crying out anger and frustrated pain, within his sight, and there was nothing he could do or say for her. Her breathing shook her slight form, and Horatio felt desperate to hold her, shield her from her trouble, and scold the cause of it. The cause of it being the man who was now trying to calm her. Suddenly his mind returned to him and he swiftly became aware that it was not his business to be where he currently found himself. Turning to make a quiet exit Calleigh caught sight of him first, and in humiliation, wiped at her tears.

"I'm sorry." H said pretending he'd only just walked in. Hagen turned to see him now too. "I didn't know anyone was in here." Horatio's eyes never left Calleigh's and for less than a second neither seemed to know John was still present. After making a quick exit, H stood in the hall with himself. For that fleeting moment, he swore her eyes had tried to ask something of him. He was certain he had felt it. He just didn't know what it was. And before he could decipher it, his time was up, he had to step from the room, and too far away to hear what her eyes were saying.

H headed home that night without getting a chance to see the lady he'd wanted to visit. He had _seen_ her, in all actuality, but he hadn't seen _his_ Calleigh. He shook this idea from mind. There was no such thing as _his_ Calleigh. She wasn't his. If she was anyone's at all, she was Hagen's. They were together, and he had no right to think of her any other way. Which meant his time with her, in the privacy of the empty office, was what? Pity? Cheating? The notion struck Horatio just then, that perhaps his indefinable relationship to Calleigh may have been what began the couple's quarrel. That made him the cause of those tears. Not John. Not John at all. And again he found himself the third wheel.


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

Author's Note: The song I've written in to this chapter is called 'Cannonball' and it's by Damien Rice. Might I suggest you give it a listen? It's a really nice song and I think it speaks volumes about Calleigh and Horatio, and everyone dealing with Tim's death, as well as this partiuclar situation I've written. Anyway, thanks for reading!

* * *

"Calleigh? Calleigh, I'm talking to you!" Her mental absence from their conversation had only further irritated John Hagen after their already rather uncivil dispute had been intruded upon.

"No, no you aren't, John. You're dictating to me." Currently she could think of no one she hated more then the man in front of her. And to think this conversation had begun as his proposal for another date.

"Jesus, what is it with you, Cal?"

"_What?_"

"C'mon you'd think you were sixteen the way you behave sometimes. I know you admire Caine and everything but sometimes you look at the guy like he's superman." Everything inside her wanted to launch an attack on John's jealousy, but instead she bit back tears and straightened her posture to deliver her threat.

"Hagen. You are on thin ice." She realized how pathetic her attempt at intimidation must have seemed in her current state of breakdown, but she growled the words as best as she could anyway.

"Ok, ok." He raised his hands gesturing defeat and sighed before pulling her into a hug. "Look, let's just put all this away ok? We're still going out on Friday, right?" It never ceased to amaze her how John could say anything and then promptly pretend he hadn't. He'd have made a good politician.

"Not this time. You and I need a break. A _long_ break. Go, John." She pulled away from his arms and headed down the hall without giving him a chance to catch up.

The fluorescent lights in the women's bathroom stung Calleigh's watery eyes, while she sat alone in the last stall, waiting for all the physical marks of having just cried to fade away. Presently this was her fortress of solitude, after having pushed away from John. She sure as hell didn't want to address the subject of her father, least of all with him. He'd never lived with that kind of family. He'd never know there was _no_ easy answer. No solution in which someone didn't get hurt. Soothing her red eyes with cool douses of water, she examined her face and decided if she touched up her makeup no one would be the wiser. She knew had to get out of here soon, she had someone to see and didn't want to keep him waiting.

Making her way to his office she made sure John had definitely left, all the while she was shaking with anticipation. He'd returned tonight. Horatio had come to the shooting range to see her again. Surely, he'd only put on the idea of his intrusion being work related and quite accidental. There was no doubt in her mind he came to take up her offer from this morning. She couldn't wait to see him; tonight she needed their time together as much as he. After one last deep breath she knocked lightly on the office door and twisted the handle. Locked.

Locked? Without hesitation she took to the hall again, this time for the parking lot. The hummer would be there. He wouldn't leave her, she thought, in her best efforts to shun this creeping feeling of abandonment. At the doors, she went numb when she saw. Never, in all her years of working here, and being one of the last to go home, had the parking lot ever looked so desolate.

_Gone_. _Just gone. _It was bad enough he'd just left her in there with John when they were bickering. Even after she'd tried so _hard_, silently _begging_ him to intercept. But now he _left_? Without even saying goodnight? It hurt when to curse her fathers name for having been the cause of Hagen's raving. It hurt to curse John's name for having kept her from the man she really needed tonight. But it _really _stung to curse Horatio's name for not being here. Leaving when she needed him most. Where was her shoulder to cry on? To spend the rest of this evening alone to drowning in her self-worth, as shallow as it seemed, was not fair. The idea that Horatio might not have been there at the end of the day seemed ludicrous. Something must have come up. Something important, very important. Unreliable was just _not _in his character description. She theorized hundreds of different excuses to convince herself he did not just walk out and held in her breath in an effort to hold back her disappointment. Even so, the sorrow of knowing she was still here alone began to trickle through her veins as she heard the soften echoes of the night janitor's radio through in the halls.

_There's still a little bit of your taste,  
In my mouth.  
There's still a little bit of you laced,  
With my doubt.  
It's still a little hard to say...  
What's going on.  
There's still a little bit of your ghost,  
Your weakness.  
There still a little bit of your face,  
I haven't kissed.  
You step a little closer each day,  
And I can't say what's going on._

_Stones, taught me to fly.  
Love, taught me to lie.  
Life, taught me to die.  
So, it's not hard to fall,  
When you float like a cannonball._

As she walked the corridors one last time that evening, the building began to feel as burdensome and cold as it had those nights ago. The day Tim...The day she first saw the cracks in the walls built up around Horatio.

_There's still a little bit of your song,  
In my ear.  
There's still a little bit of your words,  
I long to hear.  
You step a little closer to me,  
So close that I can't see  
What's going on._

_Stones, taught me to fly.  
Love, taught me to lie.  
Life, taught me to die.  
So, it's not so hard to fall,  
When you float like a cannon..._

_Stones, taught me to fly.  
Love, taught me to cry.  
So, come on courage,  
Teach me to be shy.  
'Cause it's not so hard to fall,  
And I don't want to scare her.  
It's not hard to fall,  
And I don't want to lose.  
It's not hard to grow,  
When you know that you just...  
Don't know._

It wasn't supposed to be this way this Horatio. With him it was supposed to be easy.


	8. Chapter 8

The break room in the morning was tense with a new kind of awkward. A more sullen discomfort replaced what had been an almost delightful teenaged nervousness. He had accepted the fact he would have to see her, sooner or later, but still felt awful knowing that when he did the possibilities between them would be dead now. His Calleigh was definitely gone. No, he reminded himself, she was never his.

Behind the reflection of one way glass she stood, watching John Hagen conduct an interrogation. She was watching alright but she frequently stopped listening. She couldn't believe she was stuck working with John after last night. She could barely stand the sight of him let alone cooperate with him any more.

"Calleigh?" His voice descended upon her unexpectedly as he entered the viewing room and closed the door behind him.

"Horatio." She greeted him as colleagues do but wondered if he was thinking about last night the way she was. If he had been, he didn't show it.

"I've got a victim with stab wounds and I was hoping you could help me figure out what it was he got stabbed with."

"Yah, more than likely, or at least I can narrow it down for you. Vic still with Alexx?"

"Mmhmm." Looking on at the interrogation front of them he nodded. Calleigh remained optimistic despite how coldly professional he had gotten. Everything in side her still pushed to give him the benefit of the doubt. A chance to explain his actions.

"Is that it?"

"Um. Ya. Thanks." He gave her a smile, but it hardly qualified as a _real_ smile. It certainly wasn't that sly heart stopping grin she could usually get from him. Would it be like this between them forever, she thought. If neither had the courage to talk about this elephant in the room, how long would it follow them around?

"Horatio." She said before he'd made it to the door. "Where were you last night? After you came to the shooting range?" He lowered his head and cleared his throat.

"Um, after that? After that... I went home." He couldn't help the guilt that nearly overwhelmed him whenever he thought of last night. He'd never caused her so much grief before and didn't want the chance to do so again. "I'm sorry I intruded on you and Hagen."

"Forget about that. You did come to the shooting range to see me right?"

"I did."

"I'm sorry I was... busy at the time. I'm umm I'm not busy now." She reached out and took his hand.

"Calleigh ..." When she looked up at him her eyes were so gentle he felt himself go weak. She stepped closer holding the lapels of his jacket and laid her head against his chest. He caved. His arms wrapped around her holding her there exactly how he had wanted. But everything shattered when he opened his eyes. There behind an inch of glass Hagen was in the interrogation room occasionally glancing up at the window. Quickly Horatio pulled away from her feeling terribly ashamed.

"What?" Calleigh's worried voice, only made him feel worse.

"Calleigh—" He shook his head momentarily putting his hand over his eyes, "John is right there."

"Horatio. It's one way glass. And _John_ doesn't have anything to do with us." She was still holding his jacket in one hand, but he kept inching further away.

"Please. Let's not do this."

"Do what? What's wrong with what we've done?"

"I can't be the other guy. I don't want anyone to get hurt here."

"You make it sound like some lurid affair, like infidelity. Besides, you and I haven't _done _anything."

"If you don't feel as though we've done anything Calleigh, if you don't think our time together lately was _something_ then... I think...I think I feel a lot stronger about you than you do about me." His words hung between them a moment. "Which is another good reason we should put an end to this." He wanted to look at her, to get one last good look at those immaculate green eyes. Instead, he left and quietly shut the door behind him. He didn't look because he knew if he did those eyes would see right into him. See his guilt for having been the cause of her trouble, his cowardice to give her what she'd just asked for, but mostly he knew she'd see the love for her that had built up inside him. He knew it would be too hard to not see the same in her.

Later Calleigh worked with Alexx, as H had asked her to, but despite the work at hand her mind buzzed with his last words _'put and end to this'. _It was all she could hear, all she could concentrate on before realizing that had not been the most important part of his speech. Not when compared to _'I think I feel a lot stronger about you than you do about me.'_

"One defensive wound on the right hand, two inches in length, but less than an eighth of an inch deep. That's just a cut. Three other stab wounds, all to the upper torso...Cal? Calleigh, you get that?"

"Yes. Mmhmm." She snapped out of her own head space and looked wide eyed at Alexx feigning her awareness.

"Yah, right." Alexx crooked her head to the side and shot Calleigh a stern look. "What did I just tell you?"

"Umm..." She sighed, "I'm sorry Alexx." Shaking her head lightly, she gently tucked her hair behind her ear. It was plain to see Calleigh's fatigue over something unsaid and Alexx's expression softened sympathetically.

"It's alright," she assured, "something is obviously on your mind. Care to share?" Her voice perked hinting that she might be hoping for a little girl talk.

"Hm, I'm not so sure I should." Like any good office worker Calleigh knew that bringing personal conversations to work was usually against the rules. Talking about ones boss is also _highly_ frowned upon. She could only imagine how bad and idea it was to do both at the same time.

"It's up to you. But if you do decide to share, it'll stay between me, you and this guy." Alexx gestured casually to the man on her table. "And he's not tellin' anyone, honey." Despite the morbidity of her joke, Calleigh couldn't help but smile.

"Actually... Alexx how long have you known Horatio?"

"Oh, Horatio and I go back quite a few years. We became friends pretty quick after we started working together. We used to have him and his wife over for dinner every Friday." Alexx smiled as she spoke, her words were nostalgic.

"You must know him pretty well then?"

"Yah we've known each other through a lot. He's known both my kids since they were born." She smiled brightly, "I've seen him through his divorce, Raymond's death... some good times too though." She added trying not to sound to glum when her words became melancholy. "Why? You lookin' to dig up some inside information." She teased.

"You might say that."

"Well," Alexx shrugged, "I'll tell you what I can."

"When um, when was the last time he dated?" Calleigh refused to look up while asking that, already feeling the cheeky grin Alexx was definitely sending her way.

"He's dated a couple times since his divorce, only once since Ray passed though. But these girls weren't around more than a week or so." While Alexx spoke Calleigh nodded receptively. "But that's just Horatio. Once he's got his eye on someone, no one else can compare." She glanced suggestively at Calleigh, who only looked back to her notes.

"Yelina..." Calleigh sighed the name as though it was burden to speak, but was surprised to hear Alexx chuckle.

"Not quite, honey." She laughed, "He's not chasing her around with romantic intent. He swore they were over when their feelings for each other stirred thing up between him and his brother." Calleigh looked on becoming increasingly interested but still missing the M.E.'s hints. Alexx added, "They worked that out, he and Ray. I'm not entirely sure why he still trails around after her." She leaned over the cadaver again to retrieve several tools. "If I had to guess, he's probably just afraid to lose the last of his family." Cleaning her utensils she returned them neatly to a small tool tray at her side. "She sure does know how to take advantage of her hold on him though." Alexx scoffed cynically.

Calleigh gathered her notes of the three primary wounds on the victim, and headed for the lab.

"Calleigh." Alexx spoke with a soft seriousness in her voice. "If _someone_ were trying to get closer to Horatio, they ought to give him some kind of assurance." Calleigh flushed at her insinuation and Alexx looked away. Back down to her work table as she wiped it down. "He's been hurt enough to know to keep his heart away from a risky situation."

"Thanks for the info, Alexx." She gestured to her notes but they both knew she meant the _other_ info.

"Any time, honey."


	9. Chapter 9

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A/N: Sorry for the wait. I hope it's enjoyable, though I get the feeling I'm slowly losing my grip on my muses here. By the way I really appreciate all the feedback ladies and gents. It helps me keep this thing afloat more than you might think.

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The cell phone on Calleigh's hip beeped and shook urgently until she answered it.

"Calleigh Duquesne."

"Uh, Miss Duquesne I'm calling from The Rusty Nail, a drunk fella here says he's your dad and I'm afraid if someone doesn't come to claim him soon we're gonna have to send him to the drunk tank."

"Oh." Calleigh sighed, and her shoulders sank. "Hold him a short while, would you? I'll pick him up in a few minutes, as soon as I can get away. Thanks."

Closing her eyes for a minute, to rub her forehead and collect her self from this disappointment she thought, _why? _Why does she always hope that the _last_ time will definitely be _the last time_? Standing tall, shoulders back she held herself up to approach her boss ready to take the embarrassment that comes, every time she has to ask this question. Every time she has to ask her LT for time off work to tend to her inebriated father. Her only consolation being that her boss was none other than Horatio Caine, one of the most compassionate men she'd ever know. She'd told herself that a million times. It was the only thing that kept her nerves down. Watching him from afar she felt her humiliation start to surface.

"Horatio?" She said meekly, "Can I get a minute of your time?" He tensed, hearing his name on her lips. It would almost have been nerve-racking if it didn't sound so good. He noticed she'd been having that effect on him more frequently by the day. It must be his guilty conscious, he thought.

"Horatio, I know quitting time isn't for another hour or so, and I've still go paperwork to do but I've got to ask if I could take leave early...because... because." Her excuse seemed harder then she anticipated.

"Family." He interjected, not being able to watch her struggle to speak with him. "Go ahead Calleigh." His words were softened by what she knew to be the sweetest look in his eyes. That look that calmed her, no matter what the circumstance.

"Cal?" A voice reached her when she began to walk away "What's up? You've still gotta get me that paperwork from our case this morning, I can't close this thing without it."

"I'm sorry John, I've got to--"

"I know what you've _got_ to do." He growled quietly, having heard her conversation with H. He despised what she did for her father, but when it interfered with _his_ life, as well, he wouldn't stand for it. "Look Calleigh I've gotta wrap this thing up so how about we get this done first?" She could kill John for this, she thought. Personal grudges be damned. This was _work_ and his opinions about her family had _no_ place here. John however was a detective, as she was, which gave her no place to undermine him. If nothing else she was professional and was not about to let John's goading change that. Horatio wasn't far and certainly not out of earshot. He stepped casually towards them and with hands on his hips he looked at John over his brow.

"I told her she could go, John." Horatio spoke calmly and authoritatively, but Hagen didn't try nearly hard enough to suppress the irritation in his reply.

"Look _Lieutenant_ I know you like to do favors for your friends but..." Horatio was nothing if professional too.

"This is as much about a _favor_ for a _friend_ as it is about keeping the wellness of my CSIs at mind, _Detective_." Wide eyed, Calleigh fidgeted anxiously watching these men growl at one another, over her none the less.

"It's alright Horatio." She attempted to mediate, "John's right. Work comes first around here. I'll get it done, then--" Horatio turned to her and his demeanor changed swiftly back to empathy.

"Go Calleigh." He said taking the case file from her. "_I'll_ get you your paperwork, John." Lightly touching her arm he stepped, with her, away from Hagen. "Go see your father." He whispered.

Several hours had passed, the sun had set and her father was safely home again. She'd stuck around with him a while, making sure he was alright, seeing him to bed, and giving him the same tired lecture. Why she even bothered any more she wasn't sure. Calleigh wanted to go home, curl up in bed and give up. Just give up and cry, but the clock in her car reminded her it was only ten and Horatio would likely still be trapped behind a desk.

"Knock, knock." She said cheerfully before actually getting a look at him. He wasn't at his desk, where several stacks of paper had spilled onto the floor, but rather he was crouched aside the doorway mindfully picking up broken glass, piece by piece. "Looks like a hurricane hit." She pointed out as he looked up to see her through tired eyes, his face rough with stubble again. Noticing the tissue spotted with blood wrapped around one finger she fussed, "Oh, what happened?"

"Accident." Looking back down, he lied. Poorly. "What are you doing back here?"

"I came to thank you, and to see if you needed some help with all those forms... but don't you go changing the subject on me Horatio Caine. I find it hard to believe this was an accident." Crouching beside him she assisted him in gathering the shattered remains of a picture frame. "For starters this picture belongs on your desk and I doubt it fell down and landed across the room. Secondly..." She looked up to meet his eyes, "You're never clumsy." The wall beside the door held further proof of his lie, when she saw the mark where the picture frame likely it hit. It was definitely thrown. And with some force. "But then again you're not usually violent either. Least, not without a serious push." Retrieving a new tissue from his desk, she took his hand and dabbed carefully at the cut. "What happened?" Watching her hands take care of his, he grumbled something unintelligible. Waiting on him for clarification, he handed her a folder and note attached by paperclip.

_Lieutenant Caine, It has been over a week since CSI became short one employee. This is your third notice to review these resumes and choose at least one applicant for interview and hire. If you do not we will be forced to hire a new applicant without your say._

Calleigh thumbed quickly through the folder and its contents. Sure enough, resumes. She choked trying to swallow the idea that the department wanted him to replace Tim already. It had barely been over a week for Christ's sake. She looked back to Horatio who stood slumped and defeated.

"I can't do it Calleigh. I can't just..." This time he couldn't say the words but didn't have to.

"Of course you can't. C'mon Handsome, lets get this cleaned up." Silently she led him to the break room and held his hand over the sink for a few drops of peroxide. He didn't flinch. "That doesn't sting tough guy?", she teased hoping to get any sign of a smile from him. He only shook his head. It probably did sting a little, and he might have noticed but in comparison to everything else it just didn't seem worth acknowledging. Gently she dried his hand and applied a bandage. With a quick peck on his damaged finger she'd kissed him better. "There." She said with accomplishment, but really just enjoying an opportunity to fuss over him. "Go on and sit down handsome. I'll get some coffee."

He sat on the couch in silence until she returned, taking the seat at his side. She delivered his coffee, prepared just as he always drank it, though it wasn't likely either of them would touch it.

"I feel...sick." He sighed. He couldn't describe it any other way. His guilt had grown and lingered so that it was eating him alive. Almost literally. His stomach had been too knotted to eat for ages and couldn't have been emptier. His body betrayed him for his punishment of holding back food and the twisting of his stomach was making him ill.

"Guilt can do that to you." She said as though she was speaking from first hand experience. "Don't beat yourself up like this, Horatio. When was the last time you ate? Would you like something?" Without waiting on his answer she took some change from her pocket, "The vending machine isn't known for its fine home cooked meals, but it's better than nothing."

"No, thank you." With the current state of his stomach food didn't seem like an option. She put the change down on the coffee table and sighed to herself feeling unable to bring him any consolation, any joy. Keeping his thoughts to himself his eyes closed and his brow furrowed.

"Stop." She said plainly and his eyes opened.

"Stop what?"

"Blaming yourself for Tim. If the department says you have to hire a new CSI. We'll understand. We won't hold that against you."

"But Alexx and he--" He tried to argue, knowing how much grief this would cause. Tim was special and irreplaceable and a part of their family. Everyone felt as though they'd had a unique rapport with him that was ultimately lost when they lost him.

"Alexx knows you Horatio." She interrupted, refusing to let him even complete the thought that any of their professional family would detest him for doing his job. "She knows this is hard for all of us. She'll understand."

"And Eric?"

"Eric admires the hell out of you. He'd never be angry." Both were silent for what felt like much longer than they actually were.

"And you?" He finally spoke watching her hopefully. In his mind he was begging for the right answer. The only answer he could live with.

"My feelings about you will never change." She was careful. Careful not to jump in too quickly. She could have told the truth, just declared how much she loved him, but to risk scaring him off now didn't seem worth it. She had him here and that was enough. For now.

She shuffled closer and, with an arm around his shoulders, draped her legs over his knee. Leaning against him she pulled him in close to lean against her in return. She couldn't tell exactly who was supporting whom, which was just how she wanted it. Her hand brushed soothingly through his hair and he seemed to forget his promises not to do this. Not to drag her into something that ought not to have a future. And not to drag her away from someone she already had.

"It's late." He mentioned. "I should get you home."

"No." She said gently. "Not tonight."

"Ok." He didn't protest her declination, and rather just rested his chin on her shoulder."Thank you."


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note:** Sorry this one took forever, I just couldn't make up my mind about these next few events. Anywho, here's this part hope you like it... Oh yah... and as far as I'm concerned Rebecca lives in some remote part of Sibera and doesn't even know where Miami is.

* * *

The rhythmic sound of someone's heels tapping the linoleum, as they walked down the hallway just outside the break room, clacked inside Horatio's head as his eyes struggled open to meet Calleigh's. 

"Morning handsome." She said, already wearing a smile to match her shining eyes. Only Calleigh Duquesne could spend the night on an office couch and still wake up looking like Miss America, he thought.

"Good morning." He mumbled, his voice, rough from his sleep. He wished he had her kind of energy when he woke. "How long have you been awake?"

"Only a few minutes." She said brushing his hair back into place. "Why?" Honestly, it hadn't been more than a few minutes, but his question had her nervously wondering how he might take to knowing she'd been up, watching over him.

"Because you look as though you've been up for hours, recently dressed, had a shower, done your hair and put your make up on again." His teasing of her morning-person tendencies reminded him about her make up. She'd been wearing more eyeliner recently, and he couldn't help but wonder why. He was about to ask, but his compliment made her blush, and he lost his train of thought when he saw the beauty of her face, tinted with soft pink, against the golden morning sun that poured warmly through the blinds. He took his watch from the coffee table, only vaguely remembering when he had taken it off and placed it there. Seven thirty four, it read. People started coming in around six, and the office would be full by eight at the latest. "Why didn't you wake me?" He stood with much lethargy and unenthusiastically tried to smooth the thousands of winkles from his crumpled shirt.

"I might have, if I'd been sure of the last time you actually got some rest." It was becoming all the more evident that she was determined to look after him, seeing as how he didn't seem interested in doing that himself. She stood aside him and brushed at the creases on his sleeves, before deciding it was a fruitless effort and fetching his suit jacket from the back of the couch. "Here." She offered. "Wear this. No one will notice." He slid into the sleeves, and when she straightened his collar and tugged his jacket into just the right place, he couldn't help but chuckle.

"Did you pack a lunch for me too?"

"Wise guy." She countered his playful sarcasm. He'd watched her closely while she catered to his clothes, and despite remembering how he'd broken his promises, he desperately wanted to kiss her. The whole evening was a warm memory. He knew he they shouldn't have done it. Thou shall not covet…but he couldn't deny that he enjoyed their moments. Did that make him more or less guilty?

Standing intimately close they were quiet and still, reading encrypted words in each others eyes, when the door swung open and scattered all the pieces of the puzzle they'd been silently deciphering.

"Caine." Stetler announced, haughtily ignoring Calleigh's presence. "No one at reception could tell me if you'd gotten my messages."

"Good morning to you too, Rick." Horatio replied to the courteous greeting he never got. As he spoke, Calleigh pushed her hair back, hiding her flushed cheeks behind her hand in embarassment, as though Rick had walked in and caught them in the throws of something deeply intimate.

"The messages Horatio, did you get them?" He pressed his business, determined not to stray for idle chit chat. "Your meeting with the counselor. You missed it. Again."

"I didn't _miss_ it Rick." He pointed out with clear contempt, resting his hands about his belt. "_That_ would imply that my absence was unintentional."

Calleigh knew better than to end up in the crossfire of these two. They both had the potential to be utterly vicious, particularly to one another, and any attempt to mediate could very well turn a brief squabble into a verbal blood bath. As much as she enjoyed watching Horatio become passionately aggressive, his conviction could prove to be a blade that cut both ways; knowing he was standing his ground, was knowing he was jeopardizing his own career.

"This session is _mandatory_ Lieutenant." Finally Stetler's eyes acknowledged Calleigh. "I hate to take you down a notch in front of your CSI here, Horatio…but if I have to tell you this again, I _will_ request to have you suspended until you meet with the counselor. Is that clear?"

Horatio looked down and grinned to himself as though he'd found something in Rick's words to be quite humorous. The caustic undermining sound of Stetler's threat had made Calleigh grit her teeth, but the idea that Horatio _still_ wasn't backing down had her gawking at him with wide eyed worry. What the _hell_ was he thinking?

"I told you, Rick." He practically growled. "I don't _need_ counseling."

"Being the officer _with_ Speedle when he died, you don't have a choice here. Friday: five o'clock."

Calleigh felt her heart wince when she heard the accusative tone of Rick's statement.

"Don't hold your breath." Horatio suggested before walked out. Calleigh stood silently; her jaw somewhat slack.

"You can remind him that if he's not there on Friday, it's his badge until he does go." Stetler turned his authority against Calleigh, since Horatio had left with the last word again, and Calleigh's look snapped quickly to meet Rick's.

"And how do you propose we run this place without our L.T.?" She nearly hissed.

"No one is irreplaceable."


	11. Chapter 11

"Cal, if you don't stop pacing H is gonna be investigating a homicide in the breakroom." Eric impatiently broke the silence between the tapping of Calleigh's shoes as she passed back and forth across the room. "What's up with you, you're making me nervous."

"I'm sorry, I… I'll pace somewhere else." She joked, trying to alleviate her own tension. She hadn't left the breakroom since the standoff between Horatio and Stetler. She'd been hiding out here trying to decide whether or not to find Horatio and speak with him. As much as she wanted Stetler to back off she knew that wasn't going to happen. Unfortunately Horatio wasn't likely to back down either and she couldn't stand the thought of him being taken from his position at CSI. She _hated_ the idea of caving to Stetler's demands but the more she thought about it the more valid a suggestion it had seemed. Perhaps a counselor wasn't _such_ a bad idea. Maybe Horatio could benefit from it. He certainly had been different these days, and she sighed to think that perhaps their moments together had been more due to his struggle with Tim's death and less, if anything at all, to do with them; their relationship, if you could call it that, she thought. What the hell were they? Not one whole day ago he'd practically fled the scene telling her he couldn't get involved that way and now they'd spent the night together as though it hadn't happened.

"What's the problem?" Eric asked, "I get the feeling this has something to do with Stetler."

"How'd you know that?"

"I passed him in the hall earlier and you and H both seem worked up this morning…Seeing the IAB poster boy sniffing around this early, who wouldn't expect a bad day brewing."

"Good point." She sighed, "Eric, how do you think this place would function if Horatio wasn't here?" Her question seemed somewhat out of left field.

"If we'd had a different L.T. all along? Or if he left us?"

"If he was replaced."

"Frankly, I have a hard time believing a guy like H is replaceable."

"Me too, Eric. Me too." She said swiftly standing up and making her exit, leaving Eric to sit, and give the empty doorway a confused look.

"Glad I could help…"

Calleigh knocked quietly on the door and approached with extreme caution. Horatio wasn't going to like this; someone taking Rick's side, and Stetler's little visit had already blackened his mood.

"Horatio? Can we talk?" Her voice was sweeter than usual, which he he'd never thought possible, as he looked up from his desk.

"Of course. What would you like us to talk about?" He asked while a controlled smiled played on his features. She returned the look when it struck her that he was hiding his bad mood, refusing to let his frustration with Stetler effect anyone who didn't deserve it.

"Um, this morning, about Stetler…" She began.

"Hm… I'm sorry you had to see that."

"No, it's not that. Horatio I just think--" She was interrupted when Valera appeared in the doorway, wide eyed and somewhat anxious.

"Um, sorry but Eric told me you guy's oughta come see the news." She sounded apologetic enough for interrupting but clearly something more important than personal conversations was causing office disturbance.

In the break room again Eric stood arms folded intently watching the television as the static skewed voice of a local news reporter spoke, trying to out due the breathing wind around her.

"…_is expected to roll into Miami by two o'clock this after noon. The National Guard is instructing residents in shore line areas to secure and evacuate their homes by noon. All of Miami's disaster shelters are currently open to the public All residents are encouraged to leave as soon as possible to avoid traffic and…"_

"Does that put CSI in the evacuation area?" Eric asked without pulling his eyes from the screen.

"Just outside of it actually…" Horatio replied.

"Once they lock down the windows, this place is secure." Calleigh added, "Last time we had a few folks in reception that didn't make it to a shelter in time…"

"…_if you're just tuning in, we're reporting on the approaching category three hurricane that will be in full force by two o'clock this after noon, please secure you're homes and property as winds are expected to reach 125 miles per hour at the height of hurricane Timothy…"_

It felt as though all three of them held their breath at once and the room stopped in time with them. No one's gaze left the TV set, though they all felt as if they could read each others minds. Hurricane _Timothy._ Eric finally broke their still hearted silence.

"H…I have family…out in--"

"Go ahead, Eric. Dispatch won't likely call us until after the storm."

"Will you be evacuating people?" Calleigh asked.

"Always." He assured with conviction that made her smile. "Care to join me?"

"I would." She beamed, "But I'd like to check in on my Dad first, if that's alright."

"Of course."

"Thank you. I'll be out there afterwards."

"No problem, I'll see you later." He said with a nod as he headed for the door. Turning back to the TV she smiled to herself. "…and Calleigh." He added standing by the exit.

"Yes?"

"Take care."

"You too."


	12. Chapter 12

Horatio made his way through a neighborhood of many bumper to bumper vehicles and hurrying residents trying to leave the area. He fought to clear his head of the morning they'd shared and sighed to him self when he recalled how Stetler had ruined it. That man had an avocation for taking things from him. Despite his thoughts wrapped up in someone who'd left to find her father, he kept sharp eye, out here in the midst of evacuations. For the most part all it took was a wary glance over the top edge of his glasses and a flash of his badge to put rising tension in check and keep people on their best behavior. Of course some situations required more hands on work.

"Hi there. I'm Lieutenant Horatio Caine." H introduced himself warmly to a young man of about fifteen who seemed to be the only person tending to the small house. What's your name son?"

"Aaron." The boy answered as he worked to hold a large board in place against a window while trying to nail it up.

"Where's your family, Aaron?" Horatio reached out to help steady the board, that was clearly too big a job for Aaron.

"Mom? She's getting everyone in the car." Aaron pointed timidly to a small station wagon park at the edge of the street, where a dark hair woman was arranging four more children, one of which a wailing infant, into the vehicle.

"Your Dad?" H asked; the boy shook his head and before Aaron had a moment to voice his answer Horatio replied, needing no time to understand the situation. "I see. I'll tell you what; you help me hold this up, while I fasten it, ok?"

"Thanks." The young man sounded encouraged as he smiled and enthusiastically complied.

Many blocks away Calleigh sat impatiently in traffic. She sighed to herself thinking how she hadn't gotten that moment this morning to talk to him. The more she reflected on their evening the more everything about it seemed precious. The idea that come Friday their time together could be greatly cut back had her anxiety soaring. He, however, was so calm afterward, was he even thinking about what Stetler had said? Did he even care? Surely he understood how his suspension would hurt them all. The more she dwelled on it the more frustrated she became and the more difficult concentration was to keep. She checked her watched for what must have been the five hundredth time, when commotion erupted several cars ahead. She leaned out the window to get a better look.

"I had right of way!" a voice hollered.

"Bullshit, you cut me off!" was the rebuttal.

Calleigh, cramped in gridlock as it was, took her keys and left her car in a self-assured stride that she always walked with, though her training and her badge had given her even more reason. Strolling up to the grown men bickering like children she crossed her arms.

"Boys?" she asked in her best 'try-me' tone, causing both men to fall silent taking in the petite blond with enough gusto to call their masculinity into question. "You all can settle this like grown up's can't you? She asked with a smile. While one man did his best to stutter out what could have been an answer, the other looked crossly at Calleigh, clearly upset that she'd interrupted his chest beating.

"Thanks honey, but I think we can clear this up without your input." He snapped.

"You're probably right," Calleigh agreed, "but the thing is if we did it your way I get the feeling someone might get hurt." With a mischievous grin she flashed her badge, "Plus my way ought to have us all moving a lot faster." She laughed inside when both men went quiet looking like scolded school boys. "Is anyone hurt?" She asked looking about, and got no answer. "Alright then, get back in your cars boys, let's sort this mess out." She examined the scene of cluttered cars and, exuding confidence, clipped her badge high on her shirt, took position in the middle of the intersection and began calling out to the drivers. "Your turn, go on through!" she instructed with a wave of her left hand while holding her right hand out flat signaling 'stop' to the other lane. The sky was getting quickly darker when a local news van, getting coverage on the weather and the condition of the city, captured a few minutes of footage that Calleigh had failed to notice until the camera man called out to her. She laughed a bit but paid them little mind while conducting the flow of cars. After quite some time the traffic had dispersed and Calleigh headed back to her own vehicle feeling relatively pleased. _Always wanted to try that,_ she thought, _too bad I didn't have a whistle._

Back in her car, she buckled in and checked her watch again. Jesus, it was practically noon. She grabbed her cell as she drove and dialed her father's number, getting no answer much to her dismay. She'd just swing by his place, she thought. No time at all.

By one the wind had become vicious. Shelters across the city were most all filled and the roads had been designated, for emergency vehicles only. Not only were evacuees cleared out but so were most evacuators. The neighborhoods Horatio had been working in were empty now, as he drove along with two patrol cars, further from the shoreline. He'd been wondering for the past hour or more, where Calleigh had gotten. He looked at the cell phone sitting next to him and willed it to ring, to no avail. She's alright, he told himself, probably with her father, safe and sound; but one call couldn't hurt. He dialed Calleigh's cell and waited impatiently through the rings.

"Dusquesne." Her voice was faint and drenched in static.

"Calleigh? Where are you? Everything alright."

"Horatio." She was so scrambled he cringed trying to hear her words as they cut in and out through a breaking connection. "I'm still out—I can't find—my father.

"Calleigh the rain's getting too heavy out there, you need to get to a shelter now."

"I'm not—close—I'll just go--" The line felt dead.

"Go where? Calleigh? Calleigh?" Dead air.

The patrol car in front of him signaled a turn, Horatio followed into the parking lot and they headed for cover in the building.

"The rain has gotten too hard, we won't make it much farther, we're at MD:CSI and staying here…" The officer who'd been driving the patrol car spoke into his radio, once in the lobby at CSI. Horatio was listening to his conversation though he was looking distantly out the last unlocked door that led to the parking lot. He went to dial Calleigh's number again but the line was completely down now.

"Damnit." He muttered. "Where are you?"


	13. Chapter 13

"The rain is—heavy—shelter now." The line cut in and out as she strained to hear his voice. Calleigh had barely been able to make out half of his words though she thought she got the gist of it.

"I'm not close to any shelters; I'll just go back to CSI." She waited momentarily for a response but was answered only by silence. "Horatio?" she called into the phone again out of hopefulness, "Hello? Oh for christ's sake…" she flipped the phone off and tossed it uselessly into the empty passenger seat, wondering where he'd phoned her from, as she muttered a short string of prayers and profanities that he was somewhere safe. Despite the driving rain she flicked the wipers on high and kept heading for the office. She wasn't far from CSI when he'd called. She could make it that far.

The seconds that ticked past reeked havoc on his nerves as he paced around the lobby never straying far from that last unlocked door.

"Lieutenant?" A young uniformed officer caught his attention, "The winds are picking up. We really ought to lock up now…" The officer watched him as Horatio looked with a determined faith out towards the parking lot. "I don't think anyone else is coming, sir." Horatio swallowed his anxiety knowing the young man was just trying to do his job.

"Humor me." He said while shooting him a look. No sooner had he spoken then the lights flickered again. Something they'd been doing for a while now. Horatio hadn't really noticed, though it seemed to unnerve a few others waiting out the storm. He strained his eyes to look through the down pour and small amounts of passing debris, not really decided on what he wanted or didn't want to find out there. Finally, with a tense sigh, he gave in and left his post by the doorway, fiddling with his glasses as he went. Calleigh Duquesne was a smart and more than capable woman, he thought, she didn't need him to save her from anything. He smiled slightly to himself when he recalled having seen her scold other men for trying to do just that. And he had to admit he'd been keeping an overly watchful eye on all of them since Tim. Still, his own assurances did little to calm him. He passed reception where the security camera footage was, rather unsteadily, playing on the monitors and glanced up only for a second. That's all it took.

"Officer!" He called to the young patrolman who was securing the door he'd walked away from, "Wait, wait!"

A small familiar jeep pulled up towards the cruisers aside the building. The driver covered themselves with a jacket rather unsuccessfully as they struggled to use the car door against the wind. Horatio recalled hearing the young patrol officer call to him as he stepped out into the storm.

The rain seemed to hit so hard it was difficult to tell between water and debris as well as which of the two was stinging her face. When she tried to look up towards the building that seemed so close, rain only blurred her vision, but in all her squinting she was sure she saw a figure. Then a voice.

"Calleigh!" He called, his volume fainted by the wind. She recognized it instantly. It was never an easy voice to forget. An moment later he was beside her and the rain seemed to yield. In all truth it hadn't but his jacket was larger than the small blazer she had and it was now wrapped around her, along with his arm, as he ushered her inside. Together they staggered into the building, tracking puddles of the water that had soaked them. The patrolman had waited anxiously and fastened the door when they entered. Calleigh was still holding his jacket about her as she tried to untangle her hair and clear it from her face. "Are you alright?" He asked shaking the rain from his sleeves.

"Yah, I'm um…" Her words faltered when she looked up at him. His hair was wet and quite out of place hanging slightly over his forehead, making him look boyish as he stood waiting for her answer, "I'm good, I'm alright." Though she saw him smile when she responded she was really watching the beads of water that had crept down his temple and were currently traveling the curve of his jaw. He took her hand and offered up a nearby chair, while looking over her face.

"Are you sure?" He pressed, his eyes affix to something around her forehead. She reached up with a light touch to find she had small scratches peppering the right side of her face.

"Oh, debris must've—I'm fine. Though we could both use a towel." There was a tension in her voice that made her answer less believable and he waited patiently with his head cocked gently to one side to hear the full story. "I just… I never found my Dad. He wasn't at home and I know I'm probably just worrying but…"

"If he went to a shelter…" Horatio said looking past her a moment, "Can you assume which shelter it might be?"

"There's three that he'd probably head to, they're in his area, I checked one… But I ran out of time. He's most likely to be at the evacuations centers set up at the Greynolds Park Learning Center or Miami Shores Elementary."

"Well, that'll narrow it down. Give me a minute, then we'll see about some towels." He said with a smile and passed by her towards the uniformed officer. "Excuse me officer…I'm sorry I didn't catch your name."

"Leary, what can I do for you Sir?"

"Can you still get through to dispatch on your radio?"

"Yes sir, there some static but it's workin'."

"May I?"

Calleigh watched him wondering by what luck he'd come to wait out the storm here of all places. She chuckled thinking he probably had an excuse too. Something along the lines of 'no better time to catch up on paperwork' she mused. Another large dip in the power drew her attention. The lights returned several seconds later but their flickering foreshadowed what might become of them. When Horatio returned to her he extended his hand to help her from her seat with a pleasant smile.

"There are officers at both shelters checking for your father." He assured, "They'll contact Officer Leary over there when they find him."

"Thank you."

"Not a problem." They both fell silent, just holding one another's gaze until everything blinked out. There was a short air of hesitance as the occupants of CSI waited, anticipating the lights to return. Nothing.

"Well…" Calleigh said in the darkness to which her eyes were slowly adjusting. "I don't think they're coming back…" She looked towards where she'd last seen the ceiling as she spoke.

"Not for a while at least…" Horatio was wide eyed though he could only make out the dimmest shadow of Calleigh.

"Can you see _anything?" _She asked.

"A _little_ bit."

"Good!" She said sounding uplifted, "Me too, c'mon…but not too fast… we don't want to walk into something."

"Where are we-" He began.

"Where do you think we're going? Towels remember."


	14. Chapter 14

"Are you still there?" Calleigh asked several paces down the hall. "Horatio you walk too quietly, are you-" Her words were cut short by her quick and almost squeaky gasp when Horatio took her arm. "You could have just answered!" She scolded; Horatio chuckled realizing he'd made her jump.

"Sorry."

"You are not."

"Not really." He admitted, "But I had an idea." Holding her arm he redirected them and began slowly along the near wall with his free hand out, waiting to find the door handle.

"What idea?" She asked ever suspicious.

"You'll see."

"Is this to try to scare me again?" She waited impatiently for an answer but his silence only encouraged her growing caution. "Well?"

"Here we are." They entered the lab together and he let go her arm.

"Horatio?" She asked again when he'd sneaked off once more. She listened intently and though she could place his general direction, due to his shuffling around, she couldn't pin point him. "I swear if you sneak up on me again…" Everything was quiet again before a familiar click cast a focused beam of light over his face. Even in the hard shadows of his new found flashlight she could tell he was looking quite pleased with himself.

"Ye of little faith."

"You could have just told me." She chided though she couldn't hide her smile.

"But that wouldn't have been nearly as much fun."

Stepping back into the hallway the glow of another flashlight poured down on them and they squinted to see the face behind the light.

"Lieutenant Caine?" It was officer Leary again, their helpful patrolman. "Officers at the Greynolds Park evacuation center located Mr. Kenwall Duquesne."

"Oh, he's there!" Calleigh said in a sigh of relief.

"Thank you officer, you've been a great help."

"No problem, Sir." Leary turned and headed back to the lobby where he'd come from. It came to Horatio's attention that both he and Calleigh were watching him leave, as though anticipating their chance to be alone again. Soon Leary's flashlight was out of sight.

"Thank you, for that." Calleigh said with quiet sincerity. "Helping me find him."

"My pleasure." They were standing inches apart and despite the chill from their wet clothes neither seemed concerned or even aware of any dip in temperature. The more he stood there watching her, watching him, the more eager he began to throw professionalism to the wind. "So…towels?" He asked breaking their silent looks.

"Right, towels."

The dark walk to the locker room was proven easy with the aid of a flashlight, which Horatio passed off to Calleigh as he reached for two clean towels. Dropping one to the bench he held the other open for her. Calleigh shimmied out of his sopping jacket and he wrapped the towel about her.

"Thanks for the jacket." She smiled and began drying her hair.

"No problem." He hung the wet article in his locker, which was entirely bare save another shirt. She knew him as that locker's owner only because of the name plates on each, though she'd never seen him use it; his hours always made him first to come and last to leave. She caught her breath a moment when she realized he was taking his shirt off. One button after the other the wet material fell open and she wished the damn lights would come back on already, as the darkness hindered her otherwise fantastic view. Catching herself starring she tried to resume drying her hair, and minding her own business, but her eyes always traveled magnetically back to him. Especially now that he stood shirtless and toweling the dampness from his skin. As he remained facing his locker she never saw as much as she'd hoped, though what she had seen was more than enough to fuel a fire. With his dry shirt on he turned to see her again and Calleigh quickly drew her eyes away feigning interest in her own locker. It wasn't until she opened it that she remembered the spare clothes she'd kept in there since a time when a lab accident sent her home to change.

"Oh, how handy." She said with a smile, before realizing she couldn't just change in front of him, could she? She glanced at Horatio who seemed suddenly struck with slight embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I'll let you…" He trailed off turning for the door to give her privacy. Calleigh chuckled at him, a cute little laugh that made him smile back at her. Not that either would admit it, but she giggled and he was almost certain his heart skipped.

"It's alright, so long as you promise not to peek." With that he clicked the flashlight off and again everything went dark, except the pleasant sound of her laughter, something that was always a beacon to him.

"I promise."

He could hear wet clothes ruffling, not that he could pin point exactly where she was anymore, amidst the encompassing dark.

"You know..." She started, "We never did get a chance to speak this morning."

"Mmhm."

"And I really wanted us to talk—are you sure you can't see?"

"You have my word." He reached out carefully and found the bench to take a seat for their conversation, which let out a small creak. Calleigh jumped.

"What was that?" She snapped, and Horatio chuckled.

"Just me, what did you want to talk about."

"Well…" She began cautiously while pulling her dry tank top on, "This morning Stetler was talking about you going to that counseling session…"

"Oh… right." Horatio said recalling this morning's brief war of words. "I am sorry you had to see that, Stetler and I just-"

"No, it's not that, I don't get along well with Stetler either." She interrupted refusing to let him apologize for something she found entirely justified. Stuffing her wet clothes into her locker she slipped into a dry pair of pants, and shut the locker door.

"Even so. It wasn't particularly professional of me."

"We can't always be professional." She said in a voice that illustrated her smile in his minds eye. "I'm done."

"Done? Oh, done, right." He clicked the flashlight back on and saw the smile he had been picturing as she took a seat beside him.

"But about Stetler… Horatio. You _do _remember what he said right? About suspending you?"

"Yes." He said fighting down some serious agitation.

"Well…" She said anxiously, "You're going to go aren't you? To the counseling session?"

"No, I don't think so."

"And what of Rick? And your job? What's going to happen, Horatio? Don't you care about any of that?" Briefly she lost control of her calm and sweet tone; as her clear concern surfaced her voice turned into a desperate and heated demand for answers. Had he _no_ concern for what might happen if he wasn't there for the rest of them? For her?

"I do."

"Then why is it even a question! I know you don't want to let him win and I don't want to see him with the upper hand any more than you do but _please,_ Horatio, go to this session if it will shut him up."

"Calleigh, I appreciate your concern for my job-"

"It's not just concern for your _job._" Calleigh sighed.

"But I do not need counseling."

She had hoped that she could have convinced him to go without the conversation going this far.

"Are you sure about that?" She asked gently, preparing for the worst of reactions.

"What?" He said looking up at her with disbelief. Of all the people he thought would be behind him Calleigh was number one on that list.

"Are you sure you couldn't benefit from it?" She asked again making sure her tone was as sweet and as sympathetic as she could manage.

"Yes, I'm sure. Why are you asking me this?"

"Because… because Horatio, you have been…_different_ lately. And I _know_ you haven't slept well and I _know_ you're still not eating-"

"How have I been _different?_"

"How many times have you come to me Horatio? In all the time I've known you you've never come to me before. And since Tim...since Tim left us you've come to me again and again. Yet when we spoke while John was in interrogation you couldn't get away fast enough, I don't know what's going on inside of you, but I know you blame yourself still… maybe the session might help you. Maybe you could stand to talk about it."

"You don't believe me."

"I do Horatio, I do, but I don't think one counseling session would _hurt._ I'm asking you, _please_ go."

"I don't _need_ counseling." He insisted. How could she of all people not see that? How could she not know? "I had something better."

"Something better Well, I'd really like to know what that is Horatio because it doesn't seem to be working too well. You can't go without sleep forever."

Horatio looked at her sadly, longingly, not understanding why she couldn't see it. Why she didn't think he was doing alright, so long as he had her to turn to, he didn't think he'd cave. Calleigh, apparently, did see it that way. He shook his head silently.

"I'm sorry I bothered you with this, but I won't give Stetler that. And I apologize for any trouble I've caused you… and John." He stood up as he spoke, but Calleigh did too, stepping over the bench to stand near him without obstacles.

"Don't do that. Don't blame yourself for John and I. That was a long time coming and I never meant to put you in the middle of that." Horatio hung his head a moment and looked as though he was about to speak again though Calleigh cut him off. "And you're not walking out of this room until you tell me what your 'something better' is. If you're not going to look after yourself Horatio Caine, someone ought to be. Now you tell me what you think is _better_." Her stern voice and single rigid finger pointing him in the chest as she spoke had nearly backed him into the locker row behind him, but despite her most terrible frustration her eyes held only concern. Of all the anger he'd ever seen in her, he'd never once seen it in her eyes while she was looking at him. The room filled with silence as heavy as the darkness around them as he gathered the courage he needed to tell her the truth.

"You." The word was small and quiet as he smiled sadly down at her.

"Me? Me what?"

"You. You're better… I don't need counseling, or time off, or even anyone's sympathy if I've got you." His confession seemed to melt her stern look, as her shoulders dropped slightly and her frustration dissolved. "I didn't intend for you to feel as though this was just about me grieving, but we lost him Calleigh, so suddenly and I can help but feel as though I could lose you just as quickly. I couldn't let that happen without at least trying...Seeing if we might have something together. But…if you're telling me, there's nothing…" Calleigh was lost briefly as she struggled to believe her own ears, until her mind suddenly caught up with things. "And if you're telling me I can't keep turning to you, then I'll stop-"

"No!" She said more demandingly than she had intended, "No, Horatio. Lord no!" With that she threw her arms around him. "I didn't realize I was…Oh just c'mere." Calleigh reached up and grabbed the collar of his shirt pulling him down, as she leaned up on her toes to meet him, kissing him with all the want she'd been bottling up since the first day he'd hired her as his bullet girl.

"Calleigh, this is…"

"Too good to last?" She finished his sentence and he nodded in agreement. "I know, but we can enjoy it can't we? At least until the power comes back." She smiled beautifully at him and Horatio was powerless to do little more than smile back. With a familiar click, the flashlight went out.


	15. Chapter 15

When the storm let up the city looked shattered, and shaken with the wind blow debris having settled. Horatio and Calleigh wasted little time in getting back to their respective jobs. Their city needed them and just as much, they didn't need anyone to find them in their private place and moment when the power had returned at CSI. They parted ways with warm looks and the promise of meeting back here later when they could both call it a day and pick up their moment when it had left off..

Calleigh strode back into the office, and beamed brightly as usual, bolstered by anticipation of seeing him again. Across the office she saw him and approached, but half way there she stopped smiling when she realized he wasn't either. His expression was back to that familiar scolded look and the cause of that almost immediately presented itself, or rather herself. Yelina stood up from her desk making herself visible to Calleigh, whose pace slowed to a stop just shy of interfering but close enough to hear the conversation.

"So you'll come?" Yelina asked, working those dark eye lashes. "I just don't have the time or the energy."

"I um..yes, I'll come by." He replied.

"Great." She said and flipped her hair back a little. Calleigh wondered if she'd done that intentionally just then. "Come by around eight could you? I have plans with Rick tonight." She added and the words seem to make him tense a little, but he held his tongue and nodded.

"I'll be there."

"You always are." She smiled and picked up her handbag and made her exit. Horatio seemed to watch her walk away. Calleigh sided up to him and grabbed his attention back.

"Hi." She said in a voice that relflected her smile. "Are we… are we still on for later?" she asked somewhat afraid of the answer.

"Well.." he started and she couldn't help letting her shoulders drop a little. "It might have to be _a while_ later.. I umm.. Yelina needs a hand, you know.. cleaning up the house after the storm." His explaination seemed timid in some way and Calleig's shoulders dropped a little more yet.. Would she never win again that woman?

"Horatio.. " she proceeded with a cautious tone, "don't you think, perhaps she could get _Rick_ to help her with that?" Horatio's only response was look of mild disbelief.

"She asked me." He clearified.

"I realize that but Yelina… tends to…" While Calleigh searched for the most gentle words horatio cut her off.

"I have to. She's family." He put it bluntly.

"She doesn't _need_ your help Horatio, can't you see that? You you seem to think you _owe_ her something and I can't _stand _to see how how she treats you."

"I just.. have to."

She sighed a little as much out of heartbreak as frustration over how Yelina could undo so much of the talking they'd done in that locker room.. "Well, you'd better get going. Yelina said eight o'clock." Her some what dismissive response gave him no reason to reply. Instead he Horatio gave her a half hearted nod and left for the parking lot. Calleigh watched him walk away until a voice brough her into coherence again.

"Ouch." John said with just a little to much smugness in his voice, causing her eyes to cast a sharp gaze on him.

"I don't believe that conversation had anything to do with you Detective." She said heading for her jeep and noticing he was hot on her heels.

"You're right." Hagen admitted holding his hands up in surrender, "Sorry, I was just looking for an opening… anyway Cal I think we should talk."

"I think we tried that John." She reached for the car door and his large heavy hand caught her's.

"I'll come by tonight. I'll bring dinner. Ok?" his offer only made Calleigh look back blankly.

"Are you not hearing me John?

"I hear you.. I just think we deserve a better shot." Calleigh pulled her hand back.

"Good night John."


	16. Chapter 16

------------------------------------------

It wasn't until much later that there was a knock at her door and she looked up from her book in suspsense, but as she approached she tried not to get her hopes up. Opening the front door, she found Horatio waiting quietly, his sunglasses hanging from his fingertips.

"Hi." He started in that delightfully soft tone he used on those rare occassions that he seemed shy. "Are you busy?"

"Of course not, c'mon in." She stood along side the door to let him pass.

"I was hoping we could talk."

"Always." She smiled.

"Can we sit?"

"Sure, I'll make some tea." Calleigh collected a couple of mugs and set the kettle to boil before leading him to her living room and returning to her spot on the couch.

"Calleigh I… I'm sorry. About earlier."

"Don't be." She shook her head. "She _is_ your family. How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine."

"No you're not, Horatio you're not fine. You're drifting. I'm losing you."

"You'll never lose me." He stated matter of factly.

"I almost have. Eric and Alexx too. When was the last time you talked to them? Can you remember the last personal conversation you had with either of them? I don't know if it's guilt or fear but your closing yourself off more and more when we need you.We all want you back, I want you back." As she spoke she realized how many things needed to be said and she wished she'd said more when they had their moment in the locker room.

"I realize that. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you or the others. I understand who my family is now." That statement made Calleigh suspicious that something had driven him to this.

"Did something happen? With Yelina?"

"I just couldn't be there any more. I can't stay there and watch Rick raise my nephew, knowing neither her or Ray Jr. need me. I don't want to be the third party anymore."

"Oh no, Horatio don't think that. Ray Jr. needs you. He's always going to need you. And I know you'll be there for him when he does. It's just who you are. I love that about you." She assured and silence grew between them as she wandered what he was thinking. "So .. what about us? Is there an us?"

"I think I'd like that Calleigh. I really do, but I'm not so sure there ought to be. I mean Hagen—" She cut him off before he could finish the thought let alone the words.

"This has nothing to do with John. Horatio, stop worrying about what everyone else wants. What about you? What do you need? What is it _you_ want?"

"I just don't want to be responsible for coming beteween anyone anymore. I can't take that kind of guilt and it always comes back to bite me in the ass anyway."

"Anymore?"

"I dated Yelina before she married Ray. That caused more problems for them then anything. These days, if she and Rick are fighting who do you figure it's about? I swear Calleigh, I will _not_ ruin something for you too."

"John and I are over. I promise."

"I believe you Calleigh. It's just John doesn't seem as convinced of that as you are." When he sighed a little Calleigh scooted closer, near enough to him to run her hand gently across his cheek.

"All that should matter is us." She said and moved in to kiss him when a knock at the door startled them both. She veered and dropped a kiss on his forehead instead. "I'm sorry handsome, just a second." True to his word and to her misfortune John stood behind the door with take out in hand.


	17. Chapter 17

"What the hell are you doing here John?" She said only slightly louder than a whisper.

"I promised you'd I'd come by, and bring a late dinner." He said with a self confident smile. As she rubbed her forehead in an attempt to aleviate her frustration, John stepped inside and put the paper bag or take out down on the counter. She shook her head with a sigh and though, at least he knocked, she hated hearing him say things like _'you don't like guys who knock.'_ as if he could ever know her that well.

"Don't get comfortable. I asked you not to come John, in fact I _told_ you not to and yet here you are.. again."

"I'm just asking for a chance—"

"I've given you chances! More chances than you've deserved. John we're _over_. I don't want to see men like you anymore." As she spoke Horatio stepped quietly into the kitchen having heard most of the conversation. Upon seeing Horatio, it was difficult to tell if John looked angry or insulted.

"Caine? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I invited him." Calleigh piped up defiantly. Horatio remained silent trying to remind himself he had no place in their business. "He came for me." She gestured to him and held the cuff of his sleeve at mention of his presence. "We're going out." Horatio's eyes fell to the small hand gripping his suit jacket and for the moment he was lost happily in the possessiveness of Calleigh's last words.

"This is over _him?" _John asked, with apparent disgust in his tone.

"Don't do that John. What we had fell apart because of us, not Horatio. You can't go around blaming the other men in my life for the problems we had."

"You really think he's ever gonna look at you the way you look at him?" John pointed an acussing finger at Horatio as he gave Calleigh sharp looks. "He's married to his job Cal, besides there's only one woman he wants and he can't get her. Not that he doesn't try though…his own brothers wife…"

"That's enough." She barked and shut the door with more than necessary force. "You have no right to cast judgement, on me, my father _or _Horatio, especailly when you don't know fact from fiction. I've had enough of this and enough of your company. Listen to me Detective. We are _through_. May my business and your business never cross pathes again."

"Don't be rash--"

"I think I've manage the sanity for the both of us for too long. I don't need to deal with your jealousy issues John. No one does." She spoke faster and more sternly the more fed up she became in an attempt to grab the last word and throw him out.

"I am _not_ jealous of Caine."

"I've had enough of this ridiculious conversation. Show yourself out." She ordered when Hagen moved swiftly and grabbed her arm. Horatio flinched and stepped closer, instantly ready to level the man if he should try to bring Calleigh any harm. He was on the verge of jumping in but didn't want to imply she couldn't fight her own battles.

"I am _not_ jealous." He reiterated.

"Take your hand off my arm John." She said coldly.

"_You_ listen to _me_ Cal. When he shoots you down, for Yelina, or his job, you'll come crying to me. You'll be back on my doorstep. You Duqesne's have addicitive personalities" Calleigh might have slapped him if she didn't have better self control but instead she wrenched her arm from his grip.

"Don't you _ever_ talk about my family again." She snarled but it was obvious the comment stung as her sharp gaze softened with welling tears.

"Look I understand you're upset about your father and that big fight we got into," _She has every right to be_, H thought, how could Hagen sound so apathetic? Watching him carry on, all of Caine's minor distastes for this man began to amplify. She didn't need a lecture right now, she needed compassion. "And what happened to you're lab buddy the other week, that's tough," Hagen went on. _Lab buddy?_ Horatio swallowed thickly, disgusted by such flagrant disrespect for Timothy Speedle and everyone who knew him. "I know, I lost a partner once, remember?" _A partner? How about a brother. "_But that doesn't mean you can cause a big scene and run off to fulfill some school girl fantasy about fooling around with your boss." Calleigh was crying now, though doing a good job of pretending there were no tears on her cheeks and still John continued. "Don't start--"

Calleigh gasped when suddenly Horatio's fists grabbed Hagen about the collar and heaved John forward, threateningly close to the deadly serious look on Caine's face.

"Shut up." He warned in a low tone. "Don't you _ever_ take lightly, her wellbeing. And Tim. Tim Speedle gave his _life_ for his _job_. You _respect_ that." Horatio's eyes were ferociously set to Hagen's. John didn't answer, or rather couldn't bring him self to fight any words from the spot in the back of his throat where they all seemed to catch.

"Horatio." Calleigh spoke softly, placing her hand on his forearm. "Please, John, just go." The touch of her hand tamed him, and Horatio relinquished the collar in his grip. Hagen back up cautiously mumbling something about Horatio being as crazy as his brother left the apartment after a few accusing glances. Horatio rolled his shoulders and composed himself before following Hagen out to make sure he left completely. Behind him Calleigh watched wide eyed, still in awe of his actions.

H stood in the doorway of her apartment, having withdrawn himself in thought. After what he'd done, he could now be identified as the prime instigating factor in the _definitive_ end of Calleigh and John's relationship, and he couldn't help feeling a little guilty.

"Well," She started, "You can't stand in the doorway all night. Come here, sit with me."

"I'm sorry about that." He finally spoke.

"Actually.. I appreciate it." Calleigh reach out to hold his hand as they sat together on her couch again.

"I'm sorry about your father, and about Tim." Until now he'd been speaking downward. At last he looked up and gave her those blue eyes she'd been waiting for. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, when you needed me." Calleigh smiled and felt tears catching up to her again.

"I could still use your company. If you're willing." Her sweet voice wavered as she spoke, maker her sound quietly pained. His heart beat faster, watching her there, as an intense desire to take care of her welled up inside him, and he realized how potentially dangerous her hold on him was. Yes, she could make him weak, or nervous like Yelina did, but his bullet girl had other powers too. Unlike Yelina, unlike anyone, Calleigh was the only one he'd ever known to make him feel strong.

He didn't hesitate to move close and take her in his arms. That wonderful scent, which had been on his shirt, was all about her, and her home. Tight against him on her living room sofa he felt her body shake each time she sobbed. Never letting go, he reached across her and draped her legs across his lap again. Warm tears spilled silently over her usually radiant face and left dark streams of the makeup that had been applied to her eyes. The black cosmetics melting across her cheeks marred her skin and Horatio couldn't stand to see it. He took a soft white handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed away the darkness.

"What have you been doing to your eyes?" The words, just audible, were enough to give him her gaze, though she didn't answer. Her already heartrenching expression only deepened at the question. "You've been wearing so much makeup. How come?" She sniffed away another sob to answer him.

"To change my eyes." She admitted, feeling only vainer as she spoke. "To make them dark… and beautiful. So you'd like them." His smile rippled with sympathy as he laid his forehead to hers.

"Change them? I'm afraid I can't let you do that. They shouldn't be dark, they're meant to shine. I love your eyes." Every time he spoke she felt as though she might have to cry harder. "There's nothing brighter in my life."


End file.
